It’s been a hell of a two months. To read what I wrote months/years ago and compare it to it now is crazy. We think our “problems” are big until we get hit with an actual life changing situation that requires not only critical but emotional, and futuristic thinking. I’ve been told that I’m young and need to “live life to the fullest, (whatever that means. I have yet to meet one person who actually lives like this.)” I’ve never felt more alive but at the same time dead as I do now. Things that I thought were once important are meaningless now. It’s astonishing and devastating how quickly everything changes in mere seconds. I would do anything to change back time. To think like this constantly will consume me up alive. It already is. To say I’m fine is a lie. To say I’m trying to build myself back together after shattering is truth. 

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