erratic but ardent

— May 24, 2017

“Lady, if you would just give me the time

You could just leave all of your problems behind. 

You got a past, but that’s in the past

And we all know that you can’t press rewind

I understand we’re all human

I lend you a hand if you wanted mine

Pamper you and stand for you

The man to make everything right.”

Olivia fell asleep early and I had time to listen to music. Something that RARELY happens now.

I use to listen to music 24/7 literally, I miss it. I miss discovering new artist, and new songs. I was listening to a playlist I hadn’t played in years. Omar has stood by me in the worst moments of my life and in the best moment of my life. The word love doesn’t even come close describing my feelings toward him. My soulmate my best friend, my lover, my boo daddy

🏡 — May 4, 2017
— March 16, 2017

My baby daddy who I love madly!my precious nephew who is already 2 months! My baby girl who is already 7 months! Olivia’s baptism is in June and I’m excited ❤. 

— January 20, 2017

Tijuana airport 
5months and still breastfeeding ❤

My doll😘

Tia Tania ❤

My perfect beautiful little family ❤😍😘

Those cheeks😍
Loves of my life ❤

Tia Yarah❤

— October 1, 2016

Being a mom to a newborn means being in your bra constantly, and being near a breast pump all the time. I love my kiddo so damn much. I love my little family unconditionally❤️👪 Normalise breastfeeding! 💪🏼👍🏼there is absolutely nothing wrong with breastfeeding and showing society it’s normal. What’s not normal is bashing what is natural, benifical, loving, and nurture. I am feeding my daughter the way God and Mother Nature intended it to be. It’s sad how society associates  breastfeeding with something sexual. People who think breastfeeding is something sexual need to get their brains checked out.
I am convince my daughter is an angel❤️

💖❤️the two love of my life. There is no love like the love of your new family. People don’t know love until you are willing to do everything and anything for the new family you have created. There is a love between a parent and a child people should envy. The love you have for your partner grows to an unbelievable force that one never thought existed but it does. A person has no clue what love is until they have a child with the person they love. 

My baby girl one month already Her Tia loves her!Always smiling in her sleep💖Look at those chunky cheeks! I love my baby girl! 

6 weeks postpartum — September 30, 2016

6 weeks postpartum

Wow, it has been six weeks since the birth of my little Livy. Time really does fly by :/ It’s crazy how much a tiny little human can impact your life in nothing but good ways; even with all the sleepless nights, the consistent crying. One smile from her makes up for all those tiring days. I love my little girl so much it’s unexplainable. I fall in love with her more and more everyday. There isn’t anything I  wouldn’t do for her. She really is magic.

My body is feeling more like its old self, just trying to lose the weight I gained during pregnancy. I’ve already lost a great deal just want to lose much more to the point that I feel comfortable. My delivery did not go as I planned that’s why I have to wait two months till I can exercise.  It was suppose to be a normal vaginal birth, but 22 hours in I was still dilating super slow and was stuck at 6-7 centimeters. Prior to my delivery I had researched so much on recovering after vaginal birth and what to expect before, during and after. I hadn’t researched anything with c section since I was 100% certain I was not going to have one, which wasn’t the case. I was sad that I was not going to experience a regular birth but it also didn’t matter, as long as I got to hold my baby doll and having her born safe. The actual surgery is still somewhat a blur. I remember crying and holding back on so many tears, I was scared and happy, I felt alone and cold in the surgery room. Omar had to wait to go in while nurses and doctor prepped everything. The only companion I felt was truly there was the anesthesiologist who was super  kind and talkative toward me. Not that everyone else was not, it’s just that they were busy prepping everything. During the surgery I felt dizzy and extremely cold to the point that I was shaking uncontrollably. When my Olive was born everything felt like a dream. I couldn’t grasp that she was already here because of meds and the anesthetics and because of after 9 months of her swimming inside me she had finally made her debut. I had to ask Omar if the doctor had gotten Olivia out already because I felt so unconscious. Olivia was sick when she was born and spent 3 days in the NICU till she felt better. It was painful seeing her sick and cry so intense. When your baby hurts, you hurt too.

Since the doctor and I thought in the beginning of labor that I was going to have a regular vaginal birth I got to experience the pain of those intense contraction. It feels like death. It felt as if my insides were being squeezed to the max. A  C-sections is an extremely painful recovery. While a vaginal is more of a extremely painful moment. It was all worth it because I got my baby girl and I am the happiest mama 🙂 I couldn’t have done it without Omar though. I didn’t think that I could love him anymore than I already did, but I do. I love him so much more, so more intense, like I said a cesarean is an extremely painful recovery and Omar was with me every moment. Helping me change, helping me shower, helping me breastfeed, helping me feel happy when I experience baby blues after giving birth. He really is my rock.  I love my man, I love him so much. I love my little family more than words could ever explain. <3👪